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Journal of Nursing

Love hate relationship in nursing

Luzyanna [email protected]


Nursing was never a dream for me, it never came across my mind that one day I will become a nurse, frankly speaking I hated nursing. I came from a nursing background, my mother was a nurse, a great one if I may say, but from her I had the inner view of nursing when I was just a kid, the hard ship she had to go through as a nurse yet the appreciation was never there was not appealing to me, or maybe I could say I did not see it at that time. So I went on to study as well as I could, to pursue my dream in teaching, a dream I had since I was a kid. As I wished, I had the chance of being one. I studied my feet off to be one, but God had different path for me, the road was not a walk in the park.I encountered a situation where it was impossible for me to continue the journey to be a teacher. I dropped off my study and went back home, I was angry to myself. I was devastated. My heart broke. I decided at that moment, whatever comes, I’m in for it.


As I said, God has drawn my path, not all you wish will come true or maybe not all your dream is best for you. I was approached by my mother,of what was my next plan.I came from a middle class family, where staying at home with no aim was not a choice. So at that moment, I decided I have to try nursing, not because I had any kind of sudden fond for it, but by doing it I will have a scholarship and a confirmed job in the end of it. With a heavy heart and without any kind of passion for nursing, I venture into it.


I remembered when we were asked to introduce ourselves and why we joined nursing, I had no idea to say what was the reason I am pursuing nursing. I was so not into nursing to give any kind of false reasons to love nursing, but somehow I got myself a reason to say.Then day passed,my feelings for nursing never bloom, it was just for the sake of having a cert in the end of the day. Despite all the hatred for nursing I did pretty well at college and I found a lot more than just knowledge in nursing. I found a future, I found my future to be and I found a scent of worth in myself.


After my studies I went back to the hospital that sponsored me for my studies and started my days of being a nurse. It was definitely some worst days in my life. The adaptation and the new environment was far too overwhelming for me to bare.I did not have a choice, what I could do is swallow the hardship and go through the days. Day by day, I became better in this field, I saw my future in it, I developed a stronger feeling on what I was doing in this arena. I saw that even there is a lack of appreciation for nurses but there was still a small number of people who shows their gratitude towards nurses. And personally for me I became a person with a softer heart, I think among all my achievement in nursing that change in the inner soul of mine was the biggest difference I saw in me, I learned to be patient to patient,.to their relative and visitors. I felt that importance of caring for others, this did not help me in nursing only but I adapted it into my daily life. With that I was surrounded with more people who cared about me and I picked up more friends on the way.


As I said, God has his own plans, I wanted to be a teacher and he gave me my dream, I became one. But for nursing that is. I grew in nursing more and more. With nursing I was given the opportunity to fly further , and here I am now in a country I will never thought of I would work in. The passion for nursing others came with the experience. I learned that being a nurse is a free ticket to get blessing from those you help. That feeling which comes with it, is somehow enigmatic. Being sincere in my job was the key to it. I found more than just satisfaction of career, I found the love of my life and I found my future in nursing. It may seem and it may feel hard to stand strong in nursing with all the hatred that sometimes comes with it, but there is a tinge of vindication in the end of it. I drew my future with the base of nursing , not just as a job, but as a human.God was being nice to me, not only did he made me a nurse now, but I was a nurse from womb. And when I was seeking for the person I love, miraculously I found it in the same field. So without stepping my foot into nursing I would never have found love that will make my life as beautiful as it is now


So for having this intriguing days in nursing, I have to thank three individuals, first of all God, for changing my path that I carved, my mother who carried me in her womb and still worked with all her might in nursing. And the love of my life who is always supporting me not from the back but from the side standing strong and being proud of me. They are my strength and they will always be the reason of my success in nursing. I wish that people will understand more about nurses and not just assume that we work only for the money that comes with it. Money can come from all direction but the satisfaction of helping those in need is another level that money can’t buy.

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